Biblical Sexuality Pt.5

Weekly Update – July 27th, 2023

Over the last 7 months, we have been slowly walking through our newly adopted statement on Biblical Sexuality.  There are nine points to this statement.  This week we will look at point five.  Point one can before found HERE.  Point two, HERE.  Point three, HERE.  Point four HERE.  Point 5 is as follows:

God’s revealed will for all people is chastity outside of marriage and fidelity to one’s spouse within marriage.  No affection, desire or commitment ever justifies sexual intercourse before or outside of marriage.

In many ways, point five is contingent upon point four.  To understand why the Bible calls for chastity outside of marriage and fidelity inside of marriage, we must first understand what marriage means and how sex relates to the purposes of marriage.  Again, here is point four:  God has designed marriage to be a covenantal, sexual, procreative, lifelong union of one man and one woman, as husband and wife.  This covenant before God is meant to signify the covenant love between Christ and his bride, the church.

Here then is a summary of point four:

Marriage is a life-long covenant commitment between one man and one woman that has as its ultimate intention, the display of Christ’s relationship to the Church (Eph. 5:32).  Now this ultimate intention for marriage does not take away any value from the covenant commitment that two unbelievers might make in marriage, but it does mean that this ultimate display may not be realized in the same sense as it would for two believers.  Sex is related to marriage in that it is the bond that creates the one-flesh union in marriage after a couple formally “leaves” and “cleaves/holds fast” to their spouse (Gen. 2:24).

Here then is how point five above relates.  Let’s first define our terms.  Chasity is the refraining from sexual intercourse outside of marriage.  Fidelity is sexual faithfulness to one’s spouse.  Here is why both terms are important.  If marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman by covenant, then faithfulness to that covenant is primarily displayed by upholding the one-flesh union through sex.  That means that sex outside of that covenant bond constitutes as adultery and does not represent the display that marriage is intended for, namely the display of Christ and his relationship with the church.

Why does this matter before marriage though?  It matters because sex before marriage simulates a covenant but does so without the commitment.  Typically, arguments are made as to sex before marriage having ramifications upon a future spouse, emotional baggage brought into future relationships and so on, but the main reason really has nothing to do with how it affects you or a potential spouse, but how it portrays Christ and his covenant with the church.  This is why cohabitation is wrong.  Not because of the appearances a couple living together might display, but because a marriage is being portrayed, but is done so without the covenant commitment. 

What if a couple “falls out of love” or “desires other people”.  Sometimes these can be phrases used to justify reasons for breaking the marriage covenant.  But as point five says, no desire, affection or commitment ever justifies sexual intercourse before our outside of marriage.  Here is why.  Getting married and staying faithful in marriage is not only about desires and affections.  Yes, those will hopefully be there, but marriage is first and foremost about keeping and displaying covenant commitment.  Are there exceptions?  I believe there are (Matt 5:32, 19:9; 1 Cor. 7:15).  That is a topic for another post though.  The point is that desires and affections do not justify sex before or outside of marriage.  For though sex is the unifying one-flesh union, it is designed within the confines of a covenant commitment made with vows, oaths, and a public declaration (Gen. 2:18-25). 

Commitment within marriage is key to the display of Christ’s relationship with the Church.  We misrepresent God and his purposes when we deny that commitment through the act of sex before or outside of marriage.  Therefore, as we consider the biblical view of marriage, let us also understand sex within this proper context. For what is at stake is not a few hurt feelings or sticky situations, but the very gospel of which we proclaim which tells us that God is faithful to you (2 Thess. 3:3; 2 Tim. 2:13) and will never leave you (Matt. 28:20).

Serving Him with You,
Pastor Michael Nelson